I can’t stop laughing at Harry running the fuck away, the boy who lived ladies and gentlemen.
….You realize, of course, that Hermione Granger lit a teacher on fire when she was eleven, and kept a person alive in a jar for a year when she was fourteen, and studies dark and forbidden magics for kicks, and is one of the brightest and strongest witches of her era. If she came at me, even wandless, I would aparate to Neptune to get away from her.
Hermione Granger also:
- punched Draco Malfoy in the nose for being an idiot
- purposefully performed a confundus charm on whatshsface WHILE HE WAS FLYING just so Ron would win (omfg that is so fucking dangerous)
- literally pulled a fucking Bourne Identity on her parents and managed to set them up in fucking Australia (jesus christ she literally made it so that she NEVER EXISTED wtf that’s so fucking 007)
- Convinced the Ministry of Magic to give her an incredibly dangerous and volatile device that allowed her to ALTER TIMELINES COMPLETELY (just because she was so smart, literally, that is the reason, her “potential”)
- Has enough basic survival skills and badass magic to literally disappear to the middle of nowhere and flourish AND figure out Voldemort’s plot with Harry
- Hermione also figures out not only what Voldemort’s plan is, but generally how to beat it, WAY BEFORE VOLDEMORT EVER DOES. Why? because she is just that much smarter and better at magic than everybody else
in conclusion: Voldemort wishes he could be as awesome as Hermione, that’s why he wants to kill her so bad.
Can we rehave this series with hermione as the protagonist.
Hermione Granger and “That Time I Used the Power of Research and Deductive Reasoning to Make Sure Harry Didn’t Die”
Hermione Granger and “That time I figured shit out and literally ended up petrified for the cause and it took my friends weeks to figure out that I had the research on me”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I Was a Time Lord”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I Realized I was Hot and Smart and Saved Harry’s Ass with Research. Again. All the Time. Really, He Would Have Died Without Me.”
Hermione Granger and “That time Harry was too emo to actually do shit so I did shit in his name because I am the power behind the throne clearly also PS fought evil deatheaters and won”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I told Harry about the Dangers of Copying off Somebody’s else’s work that wasn’t mine and OH LOOK I WAS RIGHT”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I let Harry Decide Where to Go and What To do and we ended up wandering the forests of dean for like 5 months before saving his ass at Hogwarts”
If Hermione had been The Chosen One Voldemort would have been defeated while she was still in her crib.
oh my god but imagine hermione raised as the girl who lived: whispers following her everywhere, incredibly aware of the importance of voldemort’s disappearance. buying every single book that mentions him or his followers the minute after hagrid tells her about her parents. knowing her wizarding history inside and out. learning new spells for the sole reason that she suspects someone will come after her in his name. being unsurprised when he comes back in fourth year.
(“i didn’t put my name in!” she insists, but karkaroff and madame maxime look unimpressed, and krum turns away in disgust, and hermione has never felt so young or stupid.
"i don’t find trouble, it finds me," she tells harry and ron, years later, and they both laugh even though she means it)
hermione preparing herself in any way she can, staying up until dawn practicing newt-level spells in fourth year; harry and ron come downstairs for breakfast and find her wild-eyed and frantic because she can’t get this spell right, nearly in tears, and harry takes the book away and ron leads her to breakfast, and they both cover for her when she falls asleep in charms)
hermione thinking she’s prepared for anything, but realizing that even though she’s got the books covered she doesn’t know squat about the real things, the people things, the way harry carries her books when they’re overflowing and ron saves a piece of pot pie for her when she’s late for dinner because she was in the library; things she can’t articulate, things that save her when she’s feeling the entire weight of the wizarding world on her bony, fifteen-year-old shoulders; the way harry and ron support her and stand with her, literally, when she’s getting chewed out by snape or talked-down to by umbridge; the way she can produce a patronus if she focuses on the memory of that first day on the hogwarts express when they let her sit with them; the way they’ve never been intimidated by her scar or or bossiness
they way they distract her when hermione gets irritated at ron and harry for goofing off, and sometimes they do it intentionally, start bickering over chess (which hermione abhors, even though she knows it’s a good technique to know, as the girl who will fight voldemort) so she’ll look up from her books and snap at them and they can pull her into their discussion about whether they should visit hagrid
hermione being jealous of both of their (pureblood) families; hermione seeing lily and molly face off about whether hermione should go back to school (“she’s just a child!” “and what were we doing when we were her age?”)
hermione knowing the good tactical use of allies, and spreading the word about the horcruxes so they’ll all know what to destroy; hermione listening to dumbledore carefully but not holding to his agenda to a t after he’s dead; hermione catching on much more quickly to the machinations of the adults around her; hermione digging into her family tree in first year so when she hears of the three brothers she puts it together instantly, because the potters and the weasleys are nice but family and history are important, and blood magic even more so
hermione regularly hiding in the restricted section to find out about her family, and then their family, and the wizarding lines and how they’re connected, coming back to harry saying “did you know you were related to such-and-such?” and knowing more about the wizarding world than some adult pureblood wizards, how it works and how its laws operates and how many races it’s crushed in order to prevail; hermione nearly burning herself out with self-defense and S.P.E.W. and dumbledore’s lessons, thinking she can soak it all up when it just runs her into the ground; hermione letting harry and ron take care of her even when she’s cataloging all the dark spells voldemort could be using at this very moment and battling the sharp pain in her scar as he tries to force his way in —
hermione arriving at hogwarts with no friends and no family and no magic skills; and finding herself there again seven years later, ready to face her greatest foe and her greatest fear with all the magic she has in her arsenal, with her found family and her friends standing behind her
hermione granger not only destroying voldemort, but finding herself in the strength of the people who don’t let her quest destroy her